The Wonders of Icha Icha
by Gabbeh
Summary: Uchiha Kenji found a little orange book in his father’s drawers. He looked through it but couldn’t understand what the hell it was talking about. The pictures looked funny too…so he decided to ask his parents about it. Better get ready, Sakura…Sasuke.


**The Wonders of Icha Icha**

Sasuke was eating his tomato for breakfast when Sakura entered the kitchen. "Where's Kenji?" She asked. Their son was somewhat curious and it sometimes got the better of him.

"He's looking for a kunai upstairs." He replied absentmindedly. Sakura yawned and grabbed a piece of toast. "Oh. Why?" She bit one side of the bread. "I promised to train him if he found it."

As if he wouldn't.

"Where did you put it?" She sat on the chair in front of his. "One of the drawers." Sasuke got another tomato from the fridge. She raised an eyebrow. "And if all our things get messed up, who's cleaning?"

He turned to her – he was about to say 'you' but stopped when he saw her disapproving face. He sighed. "Me."

Really, there are a lot more important things to do besides cleaning.

Kenji better not mess anything up.

Sakura smiled. "Good...he's taking long isn't he?" She wondered out loud. "Hn." It was true…Kenji was usually good at finding things. "Where exactly did you put it anyway?" She asked him.

"Drawer closest to the bed…"

Then he realized something.

Shit.

Sakura eyed him curiously. "What's wrong?" Before he could reply, Kenji walks in…holding something Sakura only saw in the hands of their perverted ex-sensei.

She stared at it. And then stared some more. Then she looked at Sasuke's 'mortified' face (Apparently a slight widening of the eyes small opening of the mouth was as mortified-looking as he can ever get).

Kenji held up the -disgusting- orange book. "Oka-san, Outo-san, what's this?" He asked with oh so innocent eyes.

Sakura forced out a smile. "It's just some weird book…not for you to see. Where did you get it?"

"I found it in the same drawer I found the kunai in." He lifted the kunai in his other hand. Sakura shot Sasuke an incredulous glance. Since when did he read any of those crap?

"Forget about it Kenji. Let's go train" Sasuke said. He was about to stand up when Kenji scurried over to him. "But, I just want to know. Look at this," he pointed at a picture inside the book, "what are they doing?"

Sakura choked on the bread she was eating. There were very nude people drawn on the page…

Then it hit her that the position the couple were in was exactly what Sasuke suggested the other night. She looked at her husband with a scarlet face. He looked fairly uncomfortable as well.

He cleared his throat. "I said forget about it. Let's train already." His voice sounds husky. Sakura's eyes widened.

_Shit. Don't tell me he's getting turned on…_

She turned to Kenji who still had the book widely open to that very same page.

_That's actually pretty hot._

_Fuck._

Sasuke stood up and strode to the door. Kenji tugged at his pants. "Wait! What about this…N-I-P-P-L-E, what's that Outo-san?"

That got Sasuke to stop walking. For once, he cursed Kenji's ability to read at his young age. Sakura swallowed hard and managed to walk to Kenji and kneel before him so their faces were level with each other.

She forced out a smile. "Its…a part of the body. You'll study about it when you're older," she gave Sasuke a quick menacing glance "Right Sasuke?" She asked. "Hn." He replied, glad that the conversation was over.

Kenji didn't think so, though.

"What about a pussy? Is that part of the body too?"

Sakura could only nod, her face was heating up. Kenji tilted his head. "But how can a cat be part of your body?"

Sasuke cursed Kenji's over-curious mind.

"It's not a cat. It's just the same word with the different meaning." He said through gritted teeth. "So what does pussy mean then? I wanna be able to share something new in class on Monday!" He smiled up brightly at his parents.

Sakura's face paled and she looked at Sasuke helplessly. "It's something you learn about when you're older." She said. Kenji pouted, "But you always wanted me to be ahead in class! I wont tell them what it means… we can jut keep it a secret, right Outo-san?"

"Kenji, I don't think-"

"Oh I almost forgot, what does this mean – C-O-C-K?"

Before any of the two could reply, he continued, "I heard before it's like…a rooster? But why would a rooster go inside a pussy? I don't get it…"

This. Has. To. Stop.

"I told you – it's not a cat…and its not a rooster either. Let's leave it at that. You don't have to get it." Sasuke stated with gritted teeth. He cursed Jiraiya to the pits of hell. (Although he did enjoy reading his books – not that he would admit it to anyone.)

Kenji looked at his parents curiously. He didn't get why they were acting so…weird.

And whats an ass anyway?

"Yo!" Kakashi pops in, unaware of the tense atmosphere. "Sakura, the Hokage wants you to go to the hospital. It seems they need your help-"

Then he notices the book in Kenji's hands. His visible eye widens and he points at the -heavenly- book. "That's the special edition! Where'd you get that?"

Then he realized something.

"Aren't you underage to read that? But…I guess its okay. The sooner to learn it, the better! Isnt that right-"

He stopped. Sasuke looked like he was going to Katon his ex-sensei while Sakura was clenching and unclenching her small, delicate fists (But not they're so nice when they're about to send you flying meters away sporting a very big bruise.)

"Nevermind. I have to go. Ja!" He says quickly and disappears in a puff of smoke.

"I have to go to the hospital." Sakura smiled in relief – perfect timing. She ignored the face of Sasuke that practically ordered her not to leave him alone with their curious child.

Not that she would listen to him anyway.

"Sak-" he said exasperatedly. "Let's go train, Outo-san" Kenji said, handing him over the small orange book as if nothing had happened. Sasuke sighed in relief, glad that Kenji let the subject go.

He made up his mind to Katon all his Icha Icha books tonight…

Or maybe he could just hide them in a safer place.

There's no point in letting all those yen go to waste anyway.

There was no way in hell he would allow Kenji's mind to be more corrupted. He knew way too much about the subject already. On the way out of the house, he made a mental note to talk to Kakashi about it on Monday.

_He will not taint Kenji's mind like he did to mine when I was genin._

He felt a chill go up his spine just thinking about it.

What he didn't know…was that Kenji was making a mental note as well…

_Visit Uncle Kakashi later…_

He smiled to himself. _Besides, his Uncle Kakashi looks like he wants to share his knowledge more than Oka-san and Outo-san_…

He peered up at his father.

_And I've never seen Outo-san this embarrassed before. I HAVE to know what that book was about._

Two old women passed by, smiling at Kenji. "What a cute and innocent child." They said, patting him on the head.

Sasuke raised one perfect eyebrow.

They have _no_ idea.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well...that was fun to write xD A bit short and rushed, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway.

Reviews are awesome ;)

**- Gabbeh**


End file.
